Hit The Pause Button On Life

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Life is a funny thing. It seems like from the earliest of ages, we are trying to rush through it. When you are young, you are always trying to be a grown up. You emulate all of the things that you see the adults in your life doing and long to be older too.

“I can’t wait to go to school like the big kids”

“I can’t wait until I am old enough to drive”

“How much longer until I turn 21” (Maybe that was just me.)

As a grown up, it did not change much…

When I was pregnant, I could not wait until my daughter was born. I did not enjoy pregnancy as many of friends did. At the end of my pregnancy, I tried every trick in the book to try to hasten my pregnancy. I was bouncing on a yoga ball & eating pineapple while simultaneously tweaking my nipples and waxing the floor. I was desperate for my pregnancy to be over.

When she finally came, I felt ill prepared. I read a lot of parenting books. I subscribed to computer updates from parenting sites. I Googled and searched the internet for advice & any information that I could find to help me figure out how to take care of this little life in front of me.
There was no book out that that could have prepared me for motherhood. She did not sleep, she cried for what seemed like 27 hours a day. She did not take to her swing or bouncy seat. The only thing that would keep her from crying was to be rocked or bounced in mommy’s arms. If we sat still even for a moment, the symphony of screams would begin. This was a very difficult time for mommy.

I remember saying, I can not wait until she is a little older & ready to play on her Play mat so that I could put her down for a moment.
From there, I continued to wish for time to flash forward. I wish that she would roll over; I wish that she would sit on her own; I can’t wait until she walks. As soon as she took those first steps, I was ready for her to start speaking. Once that day came, it seemed as if time started moving at warp speed.

Tonight as I was reading my sweet little girl a bedtime story, she turned back at me and softly placed her hand on my cheek and said “Mama, I miss you. See you morning, mama” & then 2 tiny little puckered lips touched mine before my baby said “Sleeep”. As I gave my daughter one last kiss & closed the door to her bedroom, I realized I was now hoping that time would stand still. For the first time in my life I am not looking forward to the next great thing. I am already living the best of it.


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  1. I was like you when Goo was born. I didn’t much like the baby stage. Sure, she was adorable and cute to look at, but I couldn’t wait for her to be walking, bringing me books, talking to me, giving me kisses. Now that she’s 14 months, she’s doing a lot of those things and I told her the other day that she’s done growing. Yup, she’s not allowed to grow anymore. All done.

  2. You said it perfectly and I truly also was always wishing for the next best step in my life and like you I totally wished both my pregnancies away and couldn’t wait to hold and lay eyes on my girls. And also like you my first was completely fussy with colic and all. However, as they are growing at lightening speed here now, I too totally wish I could slow down life in general and keep them small like this forever or at least for a bit longer now. Thanks for sharing and seriously I could relate to your whole post and them some today.

  3. My word this is so true! I find myself always striving for the next thing in order to find my contentment. I remember being 8 and being so excited to be 16 and to be in high school. And even now at 29 there are so many things I look forward to thinking I will be content then. I realize the fault in this thinking more and more and hope and pray that as I raise my daughter, I can teach her to be content in the moment that God has given us. But that starts with me modeling that for her.

  4. gosh, i can relate so much to this. so much that my kids can see it in me. I remember my oldest used to say to me “mommy do you want me to stay 4 years old forever? I want to be 4 forever so i can be your baby.” 🙁

  5. It’s so hard- we are so excited for the next stage of their life! I understand how you felt- my first was such a difficult baby as well! It’s ok to be better with the toddlers than the infants 🙂 I think as mothers we are just so excited to see the person they will become, to learn everything there is to know about our little people!

  6. There’s definitely a point where you just want time to stop or even back up a bit. My daughter is only an inch shorter than me and 13 – unfortunately that pause button hasn’t been working very well for us. What a cutie your daughter is though 🙂

  7. One of my favorite songs is let them be little. I say to my kids everyday can you please stop growing! On those rough chaotic days I remind myself that one day my house will be silent and spotless. But all to silent because my babies will be adults and living their own lives, and I will be wishing for that chaos! So I try to suck up every moment remembering that it won’t last forever! Great post!!

    1. Thank you. I know, it’s funny because I already miss the chaos when its not there. My husband will occasionally take our daughter for a little daddy and daughter time and to give me a few moments of mommy time. After a couple of hours, I go crazy and want my family back.

  8. As a mom of adults now and a new grandmother all I can say is relish each and every moment…it goes so fast! Those blue eyes up above captured my heart when I opened your blog…thanks for sharing these important discussions on the Thursday Blog Hop!

  9. I think every parent can relate to this. I remember when my daughter was an infant and I was wishing she could do more things independently. Now I have this incredibly independent little thing, and I wish I could rewind to when she was my tiny little baby. I’m trying to do my best to live in the moment and be present for every fun moment with her.

  10. What a lovely post. I remember those years of wishing for a different stage and then when you realize how fast life is moving you wish for it to slow down. I became an empty nester four years ago and the time flew by and I miss those busy crazy years!

  11. They grow so fast. I’ve been really feeling it since my last of 7 just turned 2! Cherish each and every moment. Love this post!

  12. I can so relate to this post. It seems like my girl’s second year passed even faster than the first. I too have a tendency to wish my life away, but something about having a child makes me want to put the brakes on….savor every moment.

  13. Great post. I wished my baby’s first month, six months, year away. He’s not a good sleeper, cries a lot. But now he’s 1 and off toddling, I wish I had those times back. He’s so grown up yet still so little!

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