Your Daughter Doesn’t Look A Thing Like you.

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1505988_10202817546432993_6044707446005583676_nOne of the comments that bothers me most is “Your daughter look nothing like you”. When I was pregnant, I was always waiting for my next ultrasound. I remember my first one, there was nothing but the yolk sac yet. I was so anxious for my next visit. I could not wait until she started to take on the form of a baby. I was excited & relieved on that next visit when I saw her & got to hear her heart beat. I envisioned what she would look like. Would she take on some of my Asian features? Would she get her daddy’s blue eyes? Would she be short like her grandmas or tall like her grandpas? I could not wait to meet her.


I have to admit that in my mind I was about 98% certain that she was going to come out looking exactly like me. I was convinced. It only seemed fair right? I was the one who had to carry her for nine months & endure morning sickness, cramps, carpal tunnel, edema & a treacherous birth, why shouldn’t she look just like me.?

When the big day came & I finally got to see my baby girl for the first time, all I saw was me. I looked at that baby & just knew that she was my own. So it really took me off guard as family and friends visited and said “Wow! She looks like Chris, doesn’t she?” She does? Awwwww crap!

As she grew it was apparent that she definitely took on some of her father’s features. She had his fair skin, eye shape and color, his signature dimple and long torso and she certainly did not get her strawberry blond hair from me, but still I saw me in there. Some agreed that there was a mix, but mostly they saw daddy’s girl. I had people say “She looks nothing like you, huh? Ha, ha, ha.” Not ha ha ha, boo hoo hoo.

One day at a museum during a particularly disturbing meltdown, I was trying to carry my daughter out while she kicked & screamed. She began to scream, “Doooon’t take me, don’t take me!” I saw all eyes on me & I couldn’t help thinking that someone was going to call the police on me. “Hey, there is an Asian lady abducting a cute little blond girl. Get here quick.!” Don’t worry folks, nothing to see here. She is my daughter.

I know that it really does not matter one way or another whether she looks like me or my husband the only things that matters is that she is a happy, healthy little girl that spreads her sunshine and joy everywhere she goes, but when I look her in dimply, blue eyed face, I see a mirror image of me. I have stared, watched her play & laugh for hours on end. I see me in her creativity & her stubborn nature. I see my nose in the center of her face. As much as her physical attributes are her fathers, from that first look I knew she was my girl. So though you might not see it, I do, so don’t burst my bubble.




  1. We are the opposite here. I’m the blond hair, fair, blue eyed one and my husband is inuvialuit so he’s dark hair and eyes. My daughter looks exactly like me. We’ve even had some comments (joking, but still not nice) about whether he’s the dad or not. And I know it hurts him when people say, wow she looks just like her mom, nothing like her dad. I always make sure to point out the physical features (eye shape and lashes) that she got from him, plus the entire personality.. Haha. Anyway, genetics are funny! You and your daughter are gorgeous 🙂

    1. She definitely acts a bit like us both of us although my husband and I are two peas in a pod, so that would be easy to do. Some days she is daddy’s girl and some days it is all about mommy. Maybe I will dye my hair blond, so we look more alike. Lol

  2. My older daughter looks so much like Kevin that I was actually told by my OB/GYN that if he hadn’t been in the room delivering her, he wouldn’t know I had anything to do with her! So, trust me I knew the feeling well, but then I had my second and get told all the time she looks and even acts like me as a kid. So, you never know if you go back for a second you may get, but still my girls are both mine looks or not and nothing will change that for me 🙂

  3. I have come to accept that when people see my daughter and I they say oh your twins but the second they see her dad they say go no never mind.
    My daughter is the spitting image of her father that’s ok, she says it’s a gene thing daughters look like the dad sons like the mom. Maybe I should work on having a son lol.
    Love the share, Mai always makes me smile xo

  4. Even if you don’t look alike you are both beautiful! I am sure she is just like you in many others ways as well. I never think my son looks like me, but people always tell me we look just alike. I don’t see it at all but I’m sure other people are seeing something I am missing I guess 🙂

    1. Thank you. She has a lot of both me and my husband in her personality. I am opposite if you where you don’t see how your son looks like you when everyone says he does, I feel like my daughter does look like me even though they don’t. Lol! I guess it is just because I know she is my girl that I see it. I’m not sure.

  5. I was shopping once with my son and the cashier said, “he must look like his dad.” I was floored! For three years, we’ve heard both “he looks just like daddy” and “he looks just like mommy” from those close to us. But this was the first time a complete stranger had said he looked nothing like me.

  6. When I was born my mother told the doctors to take me back that they made a mistake that I wasn’t her daughter. I was born with curly black hair , olive skin, dark almond shaped eyes. My mother was a blonde with green eyes , my dad had blue eyes , sandy hair and my older brother blue eyes and blonde hair. I never looked like my parents but I did resemble my sibling some and now that I’m getting older I see my mom staring back at me in the mirror!! All my life people asked me if I was foreign and when I had my daughter people asked if she was adopted!! None of my children look like me. But, I know their mine and I think by now my mother knows that I’m hers!

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