I Love Your Daddy, But I Love You More

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There I said it.  Phew! I don’t think it was a great mystery, but now it is out in the open. I don’t even feel bad saying it because I know that my husband feels the exact same way.

This weekend we were at a pig roast enjoying a little family time together. Our daughter sat on my husband’s lap & the two of them were talking and laughing with each other. They were amazing to watch. They were so real, so happy. My husband wrapped his arms tightly around our child and gave her a kiss. He looked up at me and said, “I love our daughter. She is just awesome.” This made me smile. He then looked at her & told her, “I love you more than anything in the world. I love you more than football & Doritos. I love you more than beer & Dukey (our dog). I even love you more than mama & she loves you more than me too.”


This statement did not make me flinch, not even a little bit, because I knew it to be true. He went on to say, if I were ever stuck in a predicament where him & Mai were hanging from the edge of a cliff and I could only save one, he would expect that I would let him go. I am not planning on taking my family to the edge of a cliff anytime soon, but I did agree. “It’s been real. We had a good run, hon.” I joked as I pretended to let him go.

It is a funny thing. When you fall in love, you never think that it will be possible to be more in love than you are with that person. I adore my husband. We have our ups & downs just like any couple, but I could not picture myself growing old with anyone else. When we got married, I was positive that I would never love another human being as much as him. It was not possible.

I remember a friend of mine telling me after she had her daughter, “You think you love your husband? Wait til you have kids. He ain’t shit.” Pardon my language, I am quoting her verbatim. I laughed at her statement. What a funny thing to say. That is crazy.

It doesn’t seem quite as crazy anymore. It is difficult to describe the feelings that you have for your child. It is as if your heart was made just for them. Nothing in the world is more important, work, friends, even you take a back seat to your child. I would gladly sacrifice myself for my child, so while my husband is my soul mate, my daughter is the love of my life.

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  1. Know the feeling here well, too and as much as I love Kevin, I can’t help but love my girls just a bit more, because they are truly mine. I carried them for 9 months each and just a bond no one can ever break in my heart and eyes.

  2. Completely agree! I love my other half but by god I would die for my little boy! He makes me gush, he makes my heart swell with pride and I could burst with how much love I have for him. He is quite simply the love of my life and he is my other half’s too 🙂

    1. It scares me how much I love our little girl. I understand that bursting feeling. It does feel like that. I think that is the best way to describe it. It is like you have so much love it cannot possibly be contained by one heart.

  3. I enjoyed this perspective and can definitely understand it. I think, as a mother, we have this deep, passionate love and need to protect and care for our children instilled in us from day one, that will never leave and never change. With husbands/wives, it’s different because we created the love we have and I only love and appreciate my husband more as a father and as I continue to mature. I do think, in my perspective, one isn’t more than the other though; they’re just different.
    I will say I’d do the same in a cliff scenario! Not that we plan to get ourselves in that predicament anytime soon either :). It also helps to know that whichever one of us were on the crap-end of that situation would also probably be reassuring the other to save the babes as well.

    1. They are different. I love them both so much. It is just an overwhelming feeling that I have for our daughter. Like you, I feel as if I have a new level of love for my husband in watching him as a father. He is amazing with her. Nothing is more attractive than a good father.My daughter is a daddy’s girl and he is a smitten daddy. I admit I get a tad jealous, but usually it is because my daughter doesn’t want mommy as much any more.

  4. there really is nothing in the world like a parent’s love for a child. interestingly, at a baby shower a few months ago, some guests were having a discussion “should they personally have kids?”. I told them someone else i know posed this question on fb and asked for legitimate feedback, pros/cons. before i gave them the general feedback, they jumped in and said “let me guess, most people said “no” right?” i know it’s a very personal decision, but it boggles my mind that 1. they would think the majority of people would advise against having kids 2. that any parent would ever say in retrospect, they would be happier without kids.

    every time i see my boys smile, i count my blessing and think about how they are the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.

    1. I could not imagine my life without my daughter. If asked that question a million times I would tell you that having a child is hard, it can be frustrating sometimes, but it will be the best decision of your life. With those challenges and frustrations, it also brings an indescribable joy and happiness that can barely be explained.

  5. While I agree with my whole heart about the cliff scenario. I would do anything for my kid future kids. I also don’t want them to think they come first. I want God, my husband then my kids. I want to show my kids what a loving Christ centered relationship is. It’s a hard concept for most people to think about putting their kids last on that list. It doesn’t mean I love her less and my husband more. I can’t imagine life without either one and can be brought to tears by just the thought of losing O. It Just means if I don’t put the attention into my marriage I am not showing my kids a picture of the love meant for them how will they know it later. Just realized how long this is. Maybe I’ll blog about it 😉

    1. This is the lovely thing about blogging, it brings out different points of view. Like I said, I adore my husband. It is just a different love. Others may feel differently, but this is based on my feelings and life. I do agree with showing them a loving marriage. My husband and I are very loving. Our daughter has a wonderful sense of family. She beams when we are all together. She laughs when we hug or kiss. “Dada kiss mama. Ahaha. Mama happy.” I am indeed little girl. I look forward to reading your post. I love hearing other perspectives.

  6. I think it’s so great that you posted this! I read so many blogs and hear other opinions of people saying how you should always love your spouse and put them first. I always felt so wrong feeling the way you do so it is nice to hear someone else express the feelings that I have. I don’t feel so wrong anymore! That love is a love like nothing else; they were made from you so it’s like they have your heart. My son will always be my number one!

    1. Thank you, Julia. Not everyone agrees with this, but it how I feel. It does not mean that I do not love my husband, because I do, it is just different from our child. You shouldn’t feel bad, a mother’s natural instinct is to protect and love their child. The love for your spouse is not biologically imbedded in you. My husband understands this and feels the same way.

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