Comments on: Can You Scold An Other Mother’s Child?

By: The Pinterested Parent

The Pinterested Parent — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 20:22:40 +0000

In reply to jessicalynndunning. I worry about overstepping as well, but then I think what would I want someone to do if it was the other way around. I have had people that were grateful and also some that were mad. Oh well! I would feel worse if someone got hurt. I had my daughter at 37 and I was was not quite a grown up then. Age does not judge your maturity. I am guessing just by reading your words that you are every bit a responsible adult and mama. Being a mommy made me grow up real quick. My husband and I were still living life like we a couple of 21 year olds. Now we are an old married couple. Lol!

By: jessicalynndunning

jessicalynndunning — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 19:28:18 +0000

I’m glad you posted this, because it’s something I struggle with as a firs time mom. I’m still not sure where that line is, when it’s okay to say something and when it’s not. I was at a family reunion a month or so ago and some of the kids were being really unsafe, and I was the only adult around. (These kids are a bit older, 8-12.) I felt so unsure, I didn’t say anything, but went in search of my dad’s cousin, the mom of two of the kids. I asked her what I should have done. “If you’re the only adult around and you feel they are being unsafe, I personally give you my permission to be a parent to my kids and tell them to knock it off. They know what my expectations are, and that’s to respect all adults.” I think half my problem is I don’t feel like an adult yet, even though I am 26. Silly, I know, especially since I’m a mom. But I am so afraid of overstepping.

By: The Pinterested Parent

The Pinterested Parent — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 19:20:53 +0000

In reply to aimeecartier. Thank you. I wish everyone felt that way. Some are so defensive. I think us mamas should look out for each other.

By: aimeecartier

aimeecartier — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:05:51 +0000

I agree with you and your last sentence puts it perfectly– if done in a respectful way shouldn’t we all welcome and extra set of eyes (and ears and noses and hands!) when our back are turned!” Well I can’t speak for everyone else- but I sure do. I agree too, we’re all in this together. I remember once when one of my uncles’ reprimanded my son for something– afterward he turned to me and said, “Does that upset you that I told him not to do that?” and i was like, “Are you kidding!? I’m so tired of hearing my own voice say the same things to him all the time– I love help!” Nice post!

By: The Pinterested Parent

The Pinterested Parent — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 12:11:43 +0000

In reply to mammaspeaks. It is sad. Everybody is different I guess, but I just cannot understand how you trying to lend a helping hand could be considered a bad thing.

By: mammaspeaks

mammaspeaks — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 12:03:50 +0000

You are so right, alas not many mothers understand this. I have myself encountered such a situation where I have spoken sharply to a kid who seemed to be running away from her mother while her mother was busy finding her shoes in the park. But the mother was not happy and glared at me as if I had murdered someone. Really, I don’t understand this. It makes me feel sad!

By: The Pinterested Parent

The Pinterested Parent — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 17:38:25 +0000

In reply to mariannebotting. Thank yo, Marianne. Exactly my thoughts. I feel so protective of all children, not just my own. We don't all have our eyes on our children 24/7, sometimes we miss things. If someone else catches it, they are not judging you. They are just lending a hand. Us mamas have to stick together.

By: mariannebotting

mariannebotting — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:04:16 +0000

I completely agree with you! I think there are a lot of mums out there who think about this dilemma a lot. I think the safety of the child should always come before the feelings of the mum. If any child is in danger of being hurt, of course we must jump in. Personally, I have been so grateful a couple of times recently when another mum has spotted something I haven’t with my own child. And I would always want someone to step in if my son was trying to hurt another child, or was being unsafe.
Great article, good to get people talking about this! We all need to stop being so defensive and realise other mums are just the same as we are and we have the same goals – to keep our children safe and make them feel happy and loved. Thanks!

By: The Pinterested Parent

The Pinterested Parent — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 11:48:03 +0000

In reply to Sue. Oh goodness, I hope I am not that mother. I would never address a child without cause. It is sometimes difficult to know what will upset another mother. It is a very fine line. Sometimes there is not even a line at all. I am a bit of a helicopter mom. I know it. I have gotten better, but that over protective nature rolls off onto other children as well. Recently, one of my friend's children was climbing on top of a table at their home. My friend was in the other room and as he is only 2. I did not want him to fall. I did not yell, but I did ask him to come down. I told him I did not want him to fall off. He told his mother and she said that this is something he does all the time and he is allowed to. I felt funny after. I apologized, but again would have felt bad if he fell. I do agree that just yelling at other people's children with no just cause is unacceptable.

By: Sue

Sue — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 06:27:30 +0000

I think if the child is in immediate danger to him/herself or another person, it is okay say something. I don’t think you were wrong to talk to your friend’s toddler. You might ve just come across a little like yelling but that is how we react in an emergency situation. Your friend may have just felt embarrassed. I can understand where she is coming from. I have a friend who just yells at other people’s kids for no major reason. She does it constantly and it’s not bc the child is in danger. I don’t think this is right.

My point is some people think it’s just okay to yell at other people’s children for no reason. If you’re a mom who has met someone like this, you’re going to be more defensive when someone yells at your kid for an emergency situation. If YOU know that you’re doing the right thing by saving a child from getting hurt, then say something bc if you don’t and something happens, you’ll always regret this.