Your Daughter Doesn’t Look A Thing Like you.

1505988_10202817546432993_6044707446005583676_nOne of the comments that bothers me most is “Your daughter look nothing like you”. When I was pregnant, I was always waiting for my next ultrasound. I remember my first one, there was nothing but the yolk sac yet. I was so anxious for my next visit. I could not wait until she started to take on the form of a baby. I was excited & relieved on that next visit when I saw her & got to hear her heart beat. I envisioned what she would look like. Would she take on some of my Asian features? Would she get her daddy’s blue eyes? Would she be short like her grandmas or tall like her grandpas? I could not wait to meet her.


I have to admit that in my mind I was about 98% certain that she was going to come out looking exactly like me. I was convinced. It only seemed fair right? I was the one who had to carry her for nine months & endure morning sickness, cramps, carpal tunnel, edema & a treacherous birth, why shouldn’t she look just like me.?

When the big day came & I finally got to see my baby girl for the first time, all I saw was me. I looked at that baby & just knew that she was my own. So it really took me off guard as family and friends visited and said “Wow! She looks like Chris, doesn’t she?” She does? Awwwww crap!

As she grew it was apparent that she definitely took on some of her father’s features. She had his fair skin, eye shape and color, his signature dimple and long torso and she certainly did not get her strawberry blond hair from me, but still I saw me in there. Some agreed that there was a mix, but mostly they saw daddy’s girl. I had people say “She looks nothing like you, huh? Ha, ha, ha.” Not ha ha ha, boo hoo hoo.

One day at a museum during a particularly disturbing meltdown, I was trying to carry my daughter out while she kicked & screamed. She began to scream, “Doooon’t take me, don’t take me!” I saw all eyes on me & I couldn’t help thinking that someone was going to call the police on me. “Hey, there is an Asian lady abducting a cute little blond girl. Get here quick.!” Don’t worry folks, nothing to see here. She is my daughter.

I know that it really does not matter one way or another whether she looks like me or my husband the only things that matters is that she is a happy, healthy little girl that spreads her sunshine and joy everywhere she goes, but when I look her in dimply, blue eyed face, I see a mirror image of me. I have stared, watched her play & laugh for hours on end. I see me in her creativity & her stubborn nature. I see my nose in the center of her face. As much as her physical attributes are her fathers, from that first look I knew she was my girl. So though you might not see it, I do, so don’t burst my bubble.