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Stop The Judging


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I consider myself a pretty upbeat person. I smile at strangers. I sing & dance around my office at work & I try to find joy even on the days that I am feeling somewhat joyless. I try to remain positive, but it is not always easy when you are surrounded by so much negativity. I hear it at work. I read it in the paper. I see it on my Facebook feed. Even things that are meant to be beautiful get torn down and turned into something ugly. Friends are judging friends. Strangers are putting down other strangers. I am not saying that I have not done my fair share of judging. I have. I am not an innocent. In this world where we are constantly scrutinized for everything we do, what if we all could just stop judging each other?

Stop judging…

The way we raise our children – Whether I am a working mother or a stay at home mom, whether I choose to nurse or use formula, whether I follow Dr. Sears’s method of parenting or Dr. Ferber, I am a mother. I do not love my daughter less because I do not raise my child the same way that you do. I am just different. I am flawed. I am imperfect. I will make mistakes & I will learn from them. I will teach my child, love her & guide her the best that I can. Let me. 

Our grammar – Recently, I read a beautiful article in the Huffington Post. The post broke my heart, not because it was a particularly sad, but because of the comments that followed it. One reader commented that they were unable to enjoy the article because of the grammatical errors that were in it. There was a handful more comments similar to this. I found it strange that these people were unable to respect the beautiful content in her words simply because she had a misplaced comma or two. What a shame! I know that I do not have perfect grammar. I am not a writer. I am just a mother with a lot that I want to share & say. If you can relate to my words, look at my message, not my grammar.

Our political beliefs – I respect the passion that many of you have for your beliefs, but with that passion often comes close-mindedness & name calling. You do not know everything about me just because I am associated with a certain political party. Be passionate & fight for what you believe in, but don’t look down on those that do not share in your opinion because that is all that it is, your opinion.

Our choice of entertainment – The music I listen to sucks. The shows that I watch are mindless & the books I read are garbage. Who cares? If you don’t like what I am reading, don’t read it.  There is a reason that musicians & writers cater to so many different genres. There are many different tastes out there. It doesn’t make me an idiot because I like Adam Sandler movies. I am not weird for not liking country. I am just me. Get over it and worry about something real.

Our appearance – You have heard the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” We have heard it, but yet we tend not to look inside if we don’t like the outer shell. Our race, our weight or the uniform we wear does not tell our story, so don’t try to rewrite it with your preconceived notions. If you are ready to know the whole truth, open the book.

 

What I Love & Hate About Social Media

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I enjoy the social media world. It can be fun, interesting, informative, funny & inspiring. It can also be scary, sad, discouraging and leave you feeling bad about yourself. People can catch up with old friends or make new ones. They share triumphs & disasters. Some even use it as a soap box for political views and other beliefs.

I can still remember when Facebook first came out. I am certain that I did not sleep for about a week as I was navigating through it’s pages, stalking old class mates, throwing virtual sheep at my friends and playing Mafia Wars. It was a guilty addiction. How did I ever live without knowing that Johnny Smith had a great workout today or that Mary Johnson was stuck in traffic? Not that I should poke fun. As a blogger my life is an open book.

We share so much with friends, family, acquaintances and even perfect strangers on these sites. We post pictures and updates on our lives and anxiously await comments & likes from our followers as if it adds value to our self worth if we receive a large number of likes.

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I have secretly been a little bit wounded if nobody acknowledged something that I found to be particularly witty or clever. Why didn’t anybody like this? It was pure genius.

In the mean time my news feed is filled with selfies of girls doing kissy faces, followed by people complaining about selfies of girls doing kissy faces; pictures of happy families, followed by someone calling this family fake. There is name calling, public arguments and people critiquing your grammar. (Sorry guys, I know mine isn’t perfect.) There are status updates from the same people every half hour, chronicling everything from what they ate for breakfast to their first bowel movements. There are debates about everything including gun control to the existence of God. I myself, am the annoying mommy that posts too many photos of her cute kid. Guess what? I don’t even care. Many people that we are so called “friends with” we don’t even like. Here is the funny thing. The people that we follow on the sites, we choose to follow. We have made a choice to let them into our personal lives and in turn we get to be a guest in their’s as well.

The world looks different through another person’s eyes. It is fun to live life vicariously through others. Before, I had my daughter, I used to enjoy looking at all the happy families & wondering what it would be like to be a parent. Now, I see people’s travels and remember the days of trekking around the world.

It is a great way to stay in touch or reconnect with old or far away friends. I have two very close friends that live out of country. It costs a fortune to call each other. Here I can keep up with their lives, see their new homes & celebrate their new jobs & other triumphs.

All of these outlets are meant to be fun. Enjoy the benefits & just laugh off the rest & if that doesn’t work remember there is always the unfriend button.