Stop The Judging

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I consider myself a pretty upbeat person. I smile at strangers. I sing & dance around my office at work & I try to find joy even on the days that I am feeling somewhat joyless. I try to remain positive, but it is not always easy when you are surrounded by so much negativity. I hear it at work. I read it in the paper. I see it on my Facebook feed. Even things that are meant to be beautiful get torn down and turned into something ugly. Friends are judging friends. Strangers are putting down other strangers. I am not saying that I have not done my fair share of judging. I have. I am not an innocent. In this world where we are constantly scrutinized for everything we do, what if we all could just stop judging each other?

Stop judging…

The way we raise our children – Whether I am a working mother or a stay at home mom, whether I choose to nurse or use formula, whether I follow Dr. Sears’s method of parenting or Dr. Ferber, I am a mother. I do not love my daughter less because I do not raise my child the same way that you do. I am just different. I am flawed. I am imperfect. I will make mistakes & I will learn from them. I will teach my child, love her & guide her the best that I can. Let me. 

Our grammar – Recently, I read a beautiful article in the Huffington Post. The post broke my heart, not because it was a particularly sad, but because of the comments that followed it. One reader commented that they were unable to enjoy the article because of the grammatical errors that were in it. There was a handful more comments similar to this. I found it strange that these people were unable to respect the beautiful content in her words simply because she had a misplaced comma or two. What a shame! I know that I do not have perfect grammar. I am not a writer. I am just a mother with a lot that I want to share & say. If you can relate to my words, look at my message, not my grammar.

Our political beliefs – I respect the passion that many of you have for your beliefs, but with that passion often comes close-mindedness & name calling. You do not know everything about me just because I am associated with a certain political party. Be passionate & fight for what you believe in, but don’t look down on those that do not share in your opinion because that is all that it is, your opinion.

Our choice of entertainment – The music I listen to sucks. The shows that I watch are mindless & the books I read are garbage. Who cares? If you don’t like what I am reading, don’t read it.  There is a reason that musicians & writers cater to so many different genres. There are many different tastes out there. It doesn’t make me an idiot because I like Adam Sandler movies. I am not weird for not liking country. I am just me. Get over it and worry about something real.

Our appearance – You have heard the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” We have heard it, but yet we tend not to look inside if we don’t like the outer shell. Our race, our weight or the uniform we wear does not tell our story, so don’t try to rewrite it with your preconceived notions. If you are ready to know the whole truth, open the book.




    1. They are so judgy. I can’t really understand it. It is like you said, we are all just doing our best. Why worry about what others are doing? Worry about yourself.

    1. It would be nice. I can’t even log on to Facebook anymore because I am so sick of seeing these things posted. It makes me sad. 🙁

  1. I totally agree — what is it about us as humans that we always have to notice the differences of opinion and point them out loudly? I wish that we could be more inclined to find common ground instead! Especially among moms — we moms are the worst at being judgey!

    1. The mommy wars is what started this whole piece. I am beyond myself trying to understand why we are always so against one another.

    1. It is easy to be brave when you have a keyboard instead of a mouth. I am so tired of the negativity. Let’s just get happy.

  2. I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m really bothered by the mean spirit shown in political FB status updates and comments all the time. I just don’t get it!

    1. I don’t either Liz. I can barely bring myself to look at Facebook anymore because every day it is a different fight.

  3. It seems with the rise of social media, people have become more vocal in their judgments. I guess it’s easier to be rude when hiding behind a computer screen. Oh, for the days when ppl talked face to face! Heh!

    Whenever I post something I try to think whether I would feel comfortable saying the same thing to a person’s face. If the answer is no, I know I shouldn’t post because to the receiver, it’s the same thing.

    Great post and definitely some food for thought.


    1. I am very careful of what I post typically as well. I try not to get into debates, but some of the mean spirited things I have seen lately have been enough.

  4. Great post! There is definitely a lot of negativity out there, particularly in this internet age. Luckily, posts like yours can act as mirrors, causing people to reflect and hopefully change actions if they are negative. Well done 🙂

  5. Every morning I tell myself I am not going to be negative today and then I go to work. It really takes an effort! I’m going to work harder at it!

  6. Stopping by from Turn It Up Tuesdays – Why is it that everyone turns into the grammar police when they get online??

    I was reading a blog post once where the author was rudely lambasted for some grammatical mistakes, so the author replied in a post that was perfectly apologetic and polite, but riddled with about 30 different grammatical errors on purpose just to bug her. I thought that was the best response ever.

  7. One thing I will not touch on FB is politics…I just don’t go there even though I see some downright mean-spirited comments. If I judged people by their political affiliations or some of the viewpoints they shared on FB, then I wouldn’t have a few of my good FB friends. I can separate people’s political beliefs (and such) from the person they are, we are all entitled to feel the way we do. Just don’t attack me for the way I feel, and we’ll be fine with one another.

    1. I can’t either. It is too frustrating & it just makes enemies of people. We are all entitled to believe what we do.

  8. I agree with you and shake my head in disbelief when I see examples of mean behavior on the internet. It’s a shame that we can’t see the common ground we all share first, and start from there to treat all fairly. The thing with negativity and mean spirited is that it grows and becomes habitual. Positivity has the same impact.

    1. I find it difficult to read most of the stuff online these days. It is upsetting. That is why I always love your posts. They are so uplifting

  9. You are so right. I have an addition to your list. Don’t judge a person’s religious beliefs. Just because I believe one thing and you believe another doesn’t give either one a right to judge the other.

  10. I totally agree! People are always judging others. We all are doing our best! And so what if there’s some grammar errors. The story is what’s important! Glad I found this on Turn It Up Tuesdays! Great post!

    1. Thank you very much. I feel as if it has gotten so bad lately.We are all just doing our best. Thank you for stopping by and following me on Pinterest. I am following you as well. 🙂

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