The Pros & Cons of Having a Child Later in Life

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As I have said to you all often before, when my husband & I first started dating we did not want to have children. Somewhere along the way I started rethinking it slightly. Did we want to or didn’t we. I just wasn’t sure, but as my age was quickly advancing (Ahem), I began to think that I might regret it one day if we did not at least try and see where it took us.
We discovered we were expecting almost immediately after we began trying to conceive.
I was 37 when I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited that my one remaining dusty old ovary still worked. I turn 40 in a few months and there is still much debate in our house as to whether we should have a second child or not. I laugh when people tell me you still have time to decide and then I say “Well, I’ll be 40 this year” and they go “Oooohhhhhhh!”. More and more women are having children later in life, many into their 40’s.  There are definite pros & cons to having a child when you are older.


The Cons:


There are increased risks during pregnancy and childbirth for both you & your baby: The risk of birth defects is greatly heightened after 35.


Your body might not bounce back as quickly: As you get older it only gets harder to take off weight. It is even harder to firm it up if you do lose the weight. Saggy breasts and belly are sexy aren’t they?


Not as much energy: I was tired all the time before I had my daughter. Now I am a walking zombie. In my 20’s I had an abundance of energy, now I find it very difficult to keep up with my energetic toddler.


All of your friends already had babies…: They have raised their babies and are no longer in the same place as you.


Increased chance of not being around still for special events in your adult child’s life such as their wedding or the birth of their first child: My husband and I both lost a parent in our 30’s. Neither my mother or his father ever got the chance to meet their beautiful granddaughter. This breaks my heart everyday.


The Pros:

You have already lived: For me, I feel like I did not miss out on anything. We traveled, threw parties & went to sporting events and shows. We saw a lot and enjoyed our freedom. I don’t having any regrets like “I wish I had ________ before I had kids.”.


Being settled in a job, home & relationship: Babies are expensive and take up a lot of room. You need to be in a good place financially and you need the space to do it in. We barely have enough room for all of our daughter’s toys and books.


All of your friends already had babies…: Translation they have plenty of advice & hand-me-downs.


I think we all agree that being a mother is difficult at any age. This list is based off my own personal experiences and is no way meant to generalize other’s experiences.


When did you have your children? What were or or your experiences with being a younger mother or an older one?




  1. I had my son at 35. I’m so happy and I planned everything so that I was at a good place financially and at my job. Like you say- I have done many things so I feel like I’m not missing out on much. But having a child younger is better as you don’t think about things as much. Less thinking more more doing.

    1. And you have the energy to do it. I am so tired. It definitely was right for me to wait. In my youth I was far too selfish. I know they say that there is never a “right” time but for me it does feel perfect.

  2. I had my first at 32 and my second at 33. And I must tell you, I too had no regrets and truly felt like I had lived and done plenty before. As for having more, I do believe at almost 37 and two perfectly, healthy kids I am done, but like you said it is a personal choice and think that it should be left up to the individual, but loved your pros and cons and laid them out perfectly 🙂

  3. I had my first and only right now at 19. I was married already. For me I look forward to the I will still be young enough to travel when she leaves the nest. She is 2 now. I enjoy being able to grow with her and having the energy to keep up with her and school. I don’t enjoy people assuming I was stupid and got married for baby. Not true. I was married 4 months before we got pregnant. Also doctors assume I know nothing. Again not true. I am a RN.

    1. Mallorye, I truly hope that you did not take from my post that I was downing young mothers. The pros and con’s are all based off my own personal experience. Most all of my friends had their children years before me. Being a mother is hard at any age. I do lack the energy of a young mother for sure. Being a young mother sounds wonderful for all the reasons you listed, but I as I said before I did not want children at first. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story.

      1. I did not think you were downing young moms. Just wanted to share my story. I think my story is more complicated being a young mom with chronically ill child. So I tend to get looks like I don’t know what I am doing. And trust me my daughter was definitely a surprise. I did not plan on being a mom while still in school but now I wouldn’t change it. Funny how kids do that 🙂

  4. I am relieved because that was not my intent. I could not imagine my life without my sweet girl. They really do change you. Iam sorry that your daughter is always so I’ll. I can imagine that that would be so challenging. I am sending prayers to your daughter and to your family. Thanks again for sharing

  5. I just posted about some of my favorite things about having two close together 🙂 you should check it out! I am actually working on one now about why I want a third (and you may have inspired me to write about the pros and cons of having kids going haha) thank you for sharing 🙂

    1. I wish I two to write about, but alas I have just the one. Lol! Not that I’m complaining. She’s my everything. I love the pros and con’s lists. I did one about the p&c of having a second baby. I’m sure they are very similar. I will check this out.

  6. I had my first right before turning 30 and now my second one as I approach 32. I know motherhood is difficult at any age, but think I was definitely more prepared to handle all the stress in my 30’s than I would have been in my 20’s! It’s interesting though cause most of our same-age friends are just starting to have kids now!

    1. I definitely am better prepared. I think back to me in my 20s and think I could never had done this (at least not the same way). I did not have the emotional maturity. I sometimes question if I do even now. Lol

  7. I had my son when I was almost 38 years old and am now pregnant with my 2nd and will be 41 when she is born….I def had a much easier time with my first one….the 2nd pregnancy is very tiresome trying to rest and give all my attention to my son…but would not have done it any other way…i enjoyed my 20’s and some of 30’s and got all of my selfishness out of the way…now my main focus in life is raising 2 beautiful children. Good luck!

    1. Thanks you. One of the reasons that I did not want to have one when I was younger and it was the selfishness. I didn’t want to miss anything. I feel not only like I did not miss out but nowxam excited to share these experiences with my little girl. Thank you for sharing your journey. It sounds like a happy one.

  8. Great post and much to think about! I had my first child at 31 but I will most likely be 36 at least if I am blessed to have more – it’s been a rough journey with post-natal depression and I have a lot of work to get my body back in shape for pregnancy as well. I do now wish I had kids in my 20s but I suffered CFS more acutely then and wasn’t emotionally ready. My husband and I wanted to settle into our married life well and truly before we added to our family too.

    1. I am sorry you had so much to deal with post natal. It is hard enough work just dealing with being a new Mommy without adding the depression. That must have been so hard. I wrestle with chronic anxiety and it makes some days unbearable. Thank you for sharing your story. Bless you and your sweet family

      1. Anxiety can be so crippling. Sorry to hear you struggle with it. My faith in God helps me heaps- it doesn’t always change my circumstances but gives me strength to cope and promises to hold on to. I think it is wonderful to have an online community that supports each other with encouragement and wisdom. Thank you for your caring feedback.

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