As I have said to you all often before, when my husband & I first started dating we did not want to have children. Somewhere along the way I started rethinking it slightly. Did we want to or didn’t we. I just wasn’t sure, but as my age was quickly advancing (Ahem), I began to think that I might regret it one day if we did not at least try and see where it took us.
We discovered we were expecting almost immediately after we began trying to conceive.
I was 37 when I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited that my one remaining dusty old ovary still worked. I turn 40 in a few months and there is still much debate in our house as to whether we should have a second child or not. I laugh when people tell me you still have time to decide and then I say “Well, I’ll be 40 this year” and they go “Oooohhhhhhh!”. More and more women are having children later in life, many into their 40’s.  There are definite pros & cons to having a child when you are older.

 

The Cons:

 

There are increased risks during pregnancy and childbirth for both you & your baby: The risk of birth defects is greatly heightened after 35.

 

Your body might not bounce back as quickly: As you get older it only gets harder to take off weight. It is even harder to firm it up if you do lose the weight. Saggy breasts and belly are sexy aren’t they?

 

Not as much energy: I was tired all the time before I had my daughter. Now I am a walking zombie. In my 20’s I had an abundance of energy, now I find it very difficult to keep up with my energetic toddler.

 

All of your friends already had babies…: They have raised their babies and are no longer in the same place as you.

 

Increased chance of not being around still for special events in your adult child’s life such as their wedding or the birth of their first child: My husband and I both lost a parent in our 30’s. Neither my mother or his father ever got the chance to meet their beautiful granddaughter. This breaks my heart everyday.

 

The Pros:

You have already lived: For me, I feel like I did not miss out on anything. We traveled, threw parties & went to sporting events and shows. We saw a lot and enjoyed our freedom. I don’t having any regrets like “I wish I had ________ before I had kids.”.

 

Being settled in a job, home & relationship: Babies are expensive and take up a lot of room. You need to be in a good place financially and you need the space to do it in. We barely have enough room for all of our daughter’s toys and books.

 

All of your friends already had babies…: Translation they have plenty of advice & hand-me-downs.

 

I think we all agree that being a mother is difficult at any age. This list is based off my own personal experiences and is no way meant to generalize other’s experiences.

 

When did you have your children? What were or or your experiences with being a younger mother or an older one?