“Do as I say, not as I do” This is the hypocrite’s mantra, an expression abused by parents for years to justify the fact that they are modeling bad behavior. I think about some of the things that I say to my daughter and then think about my own actions. I realized something. I am not always leading by the best example. How can I ask something of my daughter that I don’t always follow myself?

“Pick up your mess.” – I am not sure how I could ever get that statement out with a straight face. As I speak the words out loud, my mind wanders to my unmade bed, the pile of laundry sitting in my hamper & the tumbleweeds of dog hair that just rolled over my feet. I am just waiting for her to say “I’ll pick up my toys when you run a Swiffer over this floor.”

“Don’t say no to Mommy” – No! I said don’t say no. No, don’t shake your head no. No, I said no. Why are you still saying “no” to mommy? Maybe I should try only saying yes.

“No sweets before dinner. It will ruin your appetite.” – These words have been muttered as I ducked behind the kitchen island to pop a handful of Hershey kisses in my mouth.
“Mama, what you eatin?”
“It’s a piece of broccoli, honey. Broccoli is good for dinner.”
I think she bought it. Is there any chocolate on my teeth?

“Don’t yell at the dog” – Perhaps, I raise my voice occasionally at our furry baby.
“DuUuUuUkE!, GET IN THE HOUSE!” “SToOoOOoooP BaRkInG!” “DON’T SNIFF THE BABY’S BUTT!!”
OK, I am definitely to blame for her yelling at our pup. I have however, never put a towel on his back & tried to ride him like a horse. She came up with that one all on her own.

“We have to put your jacket on. It is cold outside.” – I have been known to walk out of my house in the dead of winter with flip flops on. A few years ago I got poison ivy on my chest because I brought in the firewood from outside wearing nothing but a pair of underwear & sneakers. Don’t judge me.

“It’s late, it is time to go to bed” –  I think my daughter has a checklist under her pillow of excuses for why she shouldn’t go to sleep.
“Mama, I need juice for my throat.” Check!
“My tummy hurts, I need a rub.” Check!
“I want a cheese sandwich.” Check!
I think she forgot “Mama, I got a poop in my butt.”
I have a similar list.
The Big Bang Theory marathon is on tonight. Maybe I should do some housework. (I can’t even say that without laughing). I need to write in my blog. So here I am typing away at midnight thinking “Wow, it’s late. I should probably go to bed, but of course I won’t, because I need juice (wine) for my throat too.

If Mai asks I went to sleep at 8 o’clock.

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