Here is something that many of you might not know about me. I hate exercise. I don’t just dislike it. I have a genuine hatred for it, which is funny considering that I was a regional manager for a fitness chain for 10 years. I know that we need exercise. I know that it is good for us & all that other mumbo jumbo & I respect those of you that do it. My husband is a marathon runner. I think it is fantastic, but when he asks me to run with him I just chuckle & offer him a very dragged out “Noooooooooooooooo.”
My husband just purchased a new workout video, the T25 workout. He asked me if I would do it with him. He presented it as something we could all do together and somehow talked me into it. He must have offered me chocolates or something, either way I agreed as it is only 25 minutes long. This weekend we started it. Even our 3 year old daughter joined in.
It was 25 minutes of sheer hell. Suddenly, I remembered why exercise & I have always had such a bad relationship. It is because it sucks
7 Reasons Why Exercise Sucks
1. It requires moving. I am perfectly content sitting on my ass. I am good at it. I am more of an artsy fartsy sort of girl. Give me some paints & construction paper and I am more than happy. Sitting burns calories too, you know.
2. I want to punch everyone in these workout videos in the throat. I know all these rock hard bodies & six packs are supposed be inspiring, but they make me want to start chucking donuts at the TV screen. Have you ever eaten a donut? Try one they are delicious. On top of it, why are they so happy? As they all have ear to ear grins on their faces, I have to keep wiping the moisture from my face, and by moisture I mean tears. Incidentally, the happiest person on the screen is usually the one doing the modified version for people like me.
3. Sweating is gross. Do you know what I hate almost as much as the act of exercise? I cannot stand being in wet, sweaty & smelly clothes. I sweat like a pig. If I could go to the gym naked, it would be done. Try getting out of those nasty clothes as they stick to your moist flesh. It is not easy. I have gotten stuck inside of a sweat soaked sports bra before. It was not fun.
4. There is just not enough time. I see people around me that have full time jobs, keep a clean house, raise their kids & go to the gym for 2 hours a day & I think “Huh?”. Can you run my life for me, please?
5. I hate sore muscles. If it is not bad enough that I just went through the torture of cardio or weight training on Monday, when Tuesday comes I have to endure the pain of the next day’s sore muscles. Forget about 6 pack abs, get me a 6 pack of Icy Hot and a glass of wine.
6. It’s embarrassing. Even when I did work out all the time, I felt inadequate. I always felt as if I was being looked at. In my head I thought “I look stupid doing this, don’t I?” “Am I doing this right?” “Do I have a wedgie in these yoga pants?”
7. It is just not fun. Working out is boring. I know some of you out there are like “I disagree.” That is because you are slightly crazy. All those exercise endorphins messed with your head. Music makes it somewhat bearable, but if my IPod goes dead, I pack my gym bag up & go home. Guess what! My Ipod has been dead for 3 years now.
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