Why 40 Is Not The New 20

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IMG_20150114_212921548_HDRSomething happened today. I went to the eye doctor. I have been having problems focusing on things directly in front of me lately, so I went to have some tests done. After a number of exams, the doctor informed me that I might want to start wearing reading glasses & that over the next year or two that I would probably need to wear them regularly. He went on to explain that this is common in women “my age”.

“My age”? Did I just hear him correctly? While it is no surprise that this mother hen is no longer a spring chicken, this still did give me a jolt of reality. It is true that I am getting older.

They say that 40 is the new 20, but I disagree & here is why.

At 20… I hoped & prayed not to get carded when I ordered a drink out. “Please, don’t ask for ID. Please don’t ask for ID.”
At 40…If I get asked for my license, I am so excited that I need to text everyone I ever met, update my Facebook status & Tweet about it after I finish doing a back flip.

At 20…I was called Miss
At 40..I am referred to as Ma’am like it is a dirty word.

At 20…My jeans were low rise & my breasts were up to my neck
At 40…My breasts are low rise & my jeans are up to my neck.

At 20…my nights out started at 10 o’clock.
At 40…my nights out end with me passed out on the couch by 10 o’clock with the Big Bang Theory playing in the background.

At 20…I slathered on a pound of make-up to try to cover a pin-head sized pimple & continued to try to block it with my hands all day.
At 40…I shamelessly display my crow’s feet, stretch marks, gray hairs & every other imperfection without blinking an eye.

At 20…I would drink all night & wake in the morning without a feeling hung-over.
At 40…I can wake up feeling hung-over when I haven’t had a drink in months.

At 20…My medicine cabinet held a few bottles of cheap nail polish & cosmetics.
At 40…It is filled with prescription medication & hemorrhoid cream.

At 20…A hot and sweaty night might mean that you had a good date.
At 40…It means your peri-menopausal.

At 20…You hope that you are never like your mother.
At 40…You realize you are your mother and proud of it.



  1. This. Is. So. Fantastic!! I’m with you! 40 is not the new 20. And really, should it be? I’d hope that by 40 we are so much wiser, kinder, fierce when we need to be. I don’t look the same, but I don’t think the same either!

  2. Great article, found it so funny get so true. Thank goodness for those readers who are concerned about aging and keeping healthy. Your concerns and your actions to keep healthy will serve you well. Those who don’t care will find it more of a challenge later. Your wisdom is great!

  3. So funny! I love the jeans and boobs one! I will be 40 in July, so I am right there with you. I finally got readers, but still prefer to just squint most of the time.

  4. People call me ma’am and I always correct them. It’s miss. Ma’am is never acceptable unless you’re a senior.

  5. Ha! That’s hilarious, especially the last one. I so did not want to be like my mom, but I favor her in so many ways nowadays. I used to fight it, now I’m learning to embrace it.

  6. Great post as usual, I’m 18 months of the big 40 and actually looking forward to it. I read your list and thought that’s what happens when you have kids and you realise the pressure is off you as people mainly focus on the kids now, great!

  7. I am 34 and I can relate to all of this already. I hate being called Ma’am you’d think everyone would know by now it’s annoys everyone.

  8. Haha. Too funny. I haven’t heard 40 as the new 20, but I have heard 40 is the new 30. LOL I will be 40 very soon and boy… my body HATES me. HATTTTTTTTTTTTTES ME. My knees. My shoulders. My back. Ugh! LOL

  9. Hahaha! You covered it all and someone lied to us! We feel the pull of gravity downwards and, unless we surgically alter everything, it shows… Girl, I love this post. 🙂

  10. I am in my mid thirties and most I can relate to. I am already starting to get white hairs, I have started to wear glasses to work on the computer and I would love to be like my mom. Such an entertaining post.

  11. You had me laughing with this post! I can totally relate to most of these and I’m 33. So 30 is not the new 20 either!

  12. Love this! I totally agree… especially with this one: My breasts are low rise & my jeans are up to my neck. 🙂

  13. Stopping by from Sunday’s Best linkup. I’m on the floor laughing, did I mention it is 6:30 am. I can relate to everything you have said. I have reading glasses in every room. Can’t find them half the time, so I’ve wearing a pair around my neck now. Great post. Thanks for sharing and the laugh.

  14. Ha!! I had to laugh because…well,frankly it is true! But, I also believe that 40 is better than 20, for many reasons a 20 year old wouldn’t even care about for a minute! Thank you for linking at Snickerdoodle. I hope to see your 40 year old face again there this Saturday! We need to stick together!

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