Do You Kiss Your Child On The Lips?


There was a lot of controversy this week regarding a photo that was released of Bill Belichick kissing his grown daughter on the lips after the Superbowl. I saw all of the jokes on social media & the jabs at him from news outlets. Jokes of incest and words of disgust were aimed at this family over what people perceived as inappropriate.

I have heard this topic debated often. Should we kiss our children on the lips?

I am not sure if you can put a yes or no answer to this question. This is for each parent to decide. Who are we to judge how a parent kisses their child? Why is this so taboo? Why does it make on-lookers so squeamish? What makes it so weird?

I come from a family of mouth kissers. At 40 years old, I still kiss my father on the lips. I also kiss my aunts & uncles in a similar fashion. When my husband & I kiss our daughter, it is sometimes on the head, it is sometimes on the cheek & often times, yes, it is on the lips. There is nothing sexual about these kisses. They are not perverse. They are quick, close lipped smooches with our child.

For those that are looking at me with appall, I look back at you with equal appall. It disgusts me that a symbol of affection such as a kiss with my daughter could be viewed as anything but. It sickens me to think that a kiss from my father could be construed as passionate & not paternal. We all were raised in different households, with different family cultures. Every family is different. For me, I don’t know any other way. It is as natural for me to kiss my family on the mouth, as it is for others to give a peck on the cheek. While you may not understand it or agree with it, please respect it.

30 comments on “Do You Kiss Your Child On The Lips?

  1. Lip-kisser here. Quick, closed lipped and 100% affectionate. But sometimes my toddler likes to plant open-mouthed, drooly (!) kisses on our face including the mouth and we thought it funny. Never sexual or weird. It really is different depending on the family.

  2. Lip kisser here too, with my kids and my parents. Kinda sad that people can turn that into something it isn’t and be creeped out by it, but it is different for each family I suppose.

    1. Yeah, it makes me sad. Some people really get creeped out by it. I had an old boyfriend that freaked out that I kissed my parents on the lips. He said it was gross. I told him that he was gross for thinking anything of it.

  3. Lip kisser here, too and honestly you said this quite perfectly. But so have to share recently when I had the flu, Lily tried to kiss me on the lips. I told her I would kiss her on the cheek, because I was sick and didn’t want to get her sick. Well, after I had gotten better, she proceeded to tell me that I had to kiss her on the cheek still so I still wouldn’t get her sick. It totally made me smile and how she took what I said not only remembering it, but taking it so literal, too.

    1. Lily is adorable. It just goes to show you how much they actually do listen to us. I don’t kiss my daughter on the lips when I’m sick either. Not that it ever matters. All of our illnesses just cycle through.

  4. Love this post great question.
    I established this rule in our home when my daughter was born. It was a natural thing to kiss on the lips but only between parent and child. My daughter never kissed anyone else on the lips. As she got older and then entered H.S. we gradually got out of that habit because we felt that as dating age approached it was no longer appropriate.
    Though I feel that showing love in many different ways is a wonderful thing I personally feel that once a male and female has begun to kiss others it is no longer ok to kiss the parent in the lips. I love my daughter and I still kiss her often and bite her cheeks and do butterfly kisses with our eyes and so forth but on the lips…no. That time passed. I saw that picture and honestly I was a bit turned off at first glance too. Then I stopped to think for a second and decided to go back to thinking that it is their personal choice but even with personal choice there comes a time when things just run there course. Not to be too out of line, but as grown ups we do many things we our mouths and kissing is a very personal matter.

    1. Thank you Mari for sharing your thoughts. I do still kiss my father on the lips and my mother too when she was still alive. It did not feel any different to me in my older years than in my younger. It was just a gesture of love between family. It is definitely not the same sort of kiss that would be shared with my husband or a lover. Like I said every family is different. For ours this works.

  5. This is something that was never done in my family, but I have never viewed it as inappropriate. I have known many friends who kiss their children on the lips and you can definitely see that it is in no way meant as sexual.

  6. I havne’t seen the image you are referring to but I don’t have an issue with it. To each their own, right? I kiss my youngest on the lips but not my oldest (age 8). I am uncomfortable as the kids get older but I don’t see it wrong or right.. just what feels right for each family.

  7. Lip kisser here! My son is only 2 so his lips are like little magnets for Mama kisses haha! He’s a very affectionate, cuddly boy and often initiates kisses but I never, ever force him to kiss me or anyone else. I know that as he grows, the kisses will become few and far between and that’s ok. I think the decision is an individual one for sure and what works for one family may not work for another 🙂

  8. Great post! My son who is now 8 was a lip kisser when he was younger but not as much now which is fine. My 4 year old daughter loves to kiss me on the lips and her brother and her Daddy and that’s fine too! I love seeing kids and parents give smooches lips or not as long as the affection is there!

  9. I have no problem with families who kiss on the lips. It is nothing more than affection and it’s ludicrous for people to make it into something it’s not. While I’m not an on-the-lips kisser, it’s not because I love my children any less, I’m simply not much of a touchy, lovey person. A n occasional kiss on the forehead or cheek lets my kid’s know. 🙂

  10. I don’t see anything bad here & for someone to make fun over it & call it as incest or talk any thing disgusting is so weird. After all I think it is one way of expressing the love & care to the loved ones. I agree at certain age, it will stop automatically as life moves on.

  11. I can’t believe that anyone can think anything wrong with kissing your child on the lips! I am forever kissing Zach on the lips along with cheeks, legs, arm, nose, back of the neck. He’s my son! I know we are in a society now where people manage to find anything perverse but really, I just can’t believe this has even come up!!

  12. I always kissed my kids on the lips when they were younger…now I’m lucky to get a hug from them never mind a kiss…lol

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