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wife

A Football Widow’s Rant

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My favorite time of year is rapidly approaching. When autumn comes it brings with it a colorful palette of falling leaves, fresh crisp air, all things pumpkin flavored & Halloween. I love everything about the fall except one thing…

It’s Football season! For the next 17 weeks (possibly more if we make it to playoffs, gasp…), I will be in mourning. I will officially be a football widow. 

Here is the thing. I am not that cool wife. You will not find me on the couch in a sexy Pats tank chugging beers with the guys, screaming obscenities at the TV, listing 101 reasons why Peyton Manning sucks, all while I wait for my Buffalo wings to finish cooking. I am not that girl. Lord knows I have tried. My husband tries to get me involved. He will talk to me about the game, explain what is happening & will even go as far as ask me crazy questions about players and their stats as if I have these answers stored in my ass and have just been waiting to pull them out at the right time. I have gone to the games, read up on the rules, listened to my husband talk about it over & over & over again. Guess what? I still think football sucks. I just don’t give a crap about it. 1st down, 2nd down, holding, what the ?$*k! does it all mean? 

As soon as football season starts, my husband gets a wandering eye. It wanders to the television & stays there. I could dance naked in front of the TV with bacon draped over me & he would just say, “Babe, you’re blocking the game.” The fact is I just can’t compete with Tom Brady. I will never win 3 Super Bowls or be able to throw a 50 yard pass. Unless, I get surgery I will never have his cleft chin. I am quite certain if Tom Brady grew a set of breasts my husband might consider leaving me for him. He might even do it without the breasts… Let’s face it, the man is handsome.

So what is a wife to do?

Here is the great thing about being a football widow. You are not alone. There are other women out there that hate football just as much as you do. Find them! You can bond over your mutual hatred for this sport. Set up much needed girl dates or play dates with the kids.

Find your own hobby or interests during the season. It’s fall crafting time. Mai & I will have plenty of projects to keep us busy on Sundays & Monday nights. 

Suck it up. Sometimes you just want to spend time with your hubby. Cuddle up on the couch & watch with him. Maybe you have been wrong the first 40 years of your life & you actually do like football. P.S. Beer makes it more bearable.

Luckily, our daughter loves watching sports with her daddy, so she will not wind up a football orphan.

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The Thing About Parenting Is…

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We all do it differently, but have the same goal.

Our other relationships & even our selves will take a backseat

We all want to be the best parents that we can be.

We will have days that we feel like super-mom or dad & there will be days that we feel as if we are failures.

It can be frustrating, exhausting & rewarding all in a matter of just moments.

You will judge other parents even if you don’t mean too. (Admit it, you do)

You always worry.

You will make mistakes.

Nobody warns you just how hard it is or maybe you just weren’t listening.

Time goes by quicker than it did before you had children.

You will accidentally injure your child at some point.

It is full of surprises.

You will get pooped on or peed on.

You will have disagreements with your spouse on how to raise your children.

You always want to talk about your kids, even if no one wants to listen.

You will not always have all the answers.

It makes you appreciate your parents more.

You see bits of yourself in your children & it is not always good thing.

You can hardly remember what life was like before you had kids.

It makes you redefine your ideas of a clean house.

You waste a lot of food.

You will always love your children, but you might not always like them.

You understand unconditional love.

It is a full time job, but the best career choice you will ever make.

It is beautiful!

 

What is parenting to you?

Keeping The Romance After Kids

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It is February. Valentine’s Day is only 2 weeks away. Love is in the air. Everywhere you look there are frilly pink hearts and half naked cherubs armed with arrows. My husband & I are planning our big night out as husband & wife and not just mommy and daddy.

It is occurs to me that it is such a shame that we have to wait until Valentine’s Day to finally get away for a little romance. It is easy for your relationship to take a backseat after you have a child. All the focus turns to them.

It is very important to remember that before you were parents, you were husband & wife.

My husband & I are guilty of this as well. We definitely do not set enough time aside for ourselves. We are always tired or working or busy chasing Mai.

So what can a busy couple do to keep that spark alive?

1. Try to set time aside to date each other. Even if it is every couple of months, make the time for date night. Again we are guilty of not doing this enough but I am going to make a plan to do this more.

2. Kiss often. My hubs & I still kiss every day.

3. Be each other’s best friend. My husband & I just get each other. We always have. We have inside jokes. We crack movie quotes with one another. He is the first person I want to talk to when I have good news, bad news or juicy gossip.

4. Say I love you & mean it. Say it before bed or before you go to work. If you think it during the day at work, send him/her a text. I love getting “I love you” messages while I am work. Nothing puts a bigger smile on my face.

5. Enjoy your time together as a family. We do not get a lot of time together as a family because of our work schedules. When we do get a chance to be together, it is amazing. Nothing makes me fall in love with my husband more than watching him with our little girl.

6. Cuddle. I love snuggle time on the couch.

7. Flirt with each other. Just because you are an “old” married couple doesn’t mean that you can’t still be playful with one another. Give your spouse a little pat on the behind. Complement each other & don’t forget to still giggle at his jokes.

8. Hold hands. We hold hands while driving in the car or walking together.

9. Communicate. Air your grievances. Do not let things fester & grow. It leads to resentment & hard feelings. Strong communication is key. Always talk with your spouse.

10. Doll yourself up. Remember when you first started dating? You always tried to look & act your best. Attraction to the physical appearance is usually the first thing that draws us together. It is easy to get comfortable & forget this.

11. Look through old photos. Not as if you have forgotten, but looking through old photos or watching your wedding video together is a nice way to remember what it was that made you fall in love with each other in the beginning.

One of my favorite quotes about marriage is “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin

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Find a reason to fall in love with your spouse daily.

What do you do to keep your romance alive? Please share your marriage secrets.

Related Topics:

http://mrsbartons.wordpress.com/2014/01/31/making-marriage-last/

http://couplescounselingportlandblog.wordpress.com/2014/01/31/marry-who-you-cant-live-without/

http://8wdee.com/2014/01/31/marriage-is-not-a-word/